Phoenix From The Ashes
by MauraBarton349
Summary: If everything you've ever lived for disappeared, how far would you go to get it back? Ronnie Mitchell is about to find out when her newly discovered daughter, Danielle, vanishes. Could Archie be involved...? Please R&R! H xx. Up goes Chapter Six!
1. Prologue

_Thanks a lot to everyone who read and reviewed my __oneshot, 'Oh Mother.' Since that seemed to do well, I thought I'd try a story, so here's the first chapter! Thanks for clicking on the little link to read it! :D_

**Prologue**

She sat in the dark shadowy park of Albert Square, swinging back and forth on the swing. The day had gone badly in every single way possible. First, she'd found out that he'd lied to her; he'd never even told her the truth. Then, when she'd finally revealed her identity, she'd been rejected by the person she'd dreamed of meeting her whole life. How could they be so cruel? She should've been there; in a bridesmaid dress with her mother and celebrating a wedding with her real family. Instead here she was, all alone. Danielle Jones looked into the twilight sky at the sparkling stars. Who in this world could she trust now?

_**How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
**__**Leading you down into my core,  
**__**Where I've become so numb without a soul,  
**__**My spirit sleeping somewhere cold,  
**__**Until you find it and lead it back home.**_

Veronica Mitchell lowered her toast to her father and drank from her glass, startled when something too heavy to be champagne hit her lip. She stared into the glass. There was the locket, just like Danielle had said it would be. With bated breath, she opened the locket. There was a picture of her, when she was younger – and looked just like Danielle. Why didn't she see any of this before? Danielle had been so eager to get to know her, never missed on opportunity to speak to her, even if she would get snubbed. Ronnie should have know there was more to her than she'd thought. And, she thought with an angry jolt, looking up, she should have known better than to trust her father and think he'd changed.

_**Wake me up inside,  
**__**Wake me up inside,  
**__**Call my name and save me from the dark.  
**__**Bid my blood to run before I come undone,  
**__**Save me from the nothing I've become.**_

"Danielle?" Stacey stood outside her house, shocked when she saw her blonde friend coming towards her, shaking and crying, looking as if the world was about to come to an end. "Dan, what happened?"  
Through her tear filled eyes, Danielle looked at Stacey, opened her mouth to speak and broke down in heavy cries in her friend's arms. The only distinguishable word she managed to get out was "Ronnie." But that was all the explanation Stacey needed to understand.  
"Aw Dan." Stacey slid her arm around the distraught Danielle, guiding her inside. "Ronnie Mitchell don't deserve you anyway. Come on, it's you and me against the rest of the world."

_**Now that I know what I'm without,  
**__**You can't just leave me.  
**__**Breathe into me and make me real,  
**__**Bring me to life.**_

"You liar!"  
There was so much hate and contempt in the two words Ronnie had uttered, the whole pub fell silent. She glared across the table at her father, at that moment, wishing him nothing but a slow and painful death. She remembered her words a few months ago when she'd seen him for the first time in years. _"I'll kiss your grave when you're dead."_ Never before had she felt such a strong desire to do the deed herself and carry out that promise.  
"Ronnie?" Peggy asked cautiously, alarmed  
Shaking with anger, Ronnie thrust the locket into the older woman's face. "She was telling the truth, Auntie Peg! Look! Just look at it! And he," she said, her voice rising shrilly, "made out she had some sort of mental problem and she was lying!"  
"She was lying!" Archie said, his voice louder than his daughter's. "She's a disturbed young woman; you all saw the state she was in!"  
"Then explain this!" she shrieked, striding to him and brandishing the locket at him. "Go on, explain it! Why else would she have it?!"  
"Archie, what's going on? Tell me, please!"  
"I'll tell you what's going on Auntie Peg!" Ronnie said, not caring that all of Albert Square were watching, shocked. "He told me my daughter was dead when she wasn't! Now she's here! My daughter is Danielle, and he's been trying to keep up apart! How could you do this to me?!" The angry woman shoved the silver locket into her sister's hands and ran out into the night.

_**Wake me up inside,  
**__**Wake me up inside,  
**__**Call my name and save me from the dark.  
**__**Bid my blood to run before I come undone,  
**__**Save me from the nothing I've become.  
**__**Bring me to life.**_

Stacey sat on her bed, watching Danielle sleep in the bed across from her. She'd cried herself to sleep; her heartbreaking sobs were the worst sound ever. Stacey was angry. If there was one thing that was important to her, it was friend loyalty. Danielle had always been a loyal friend to her and the one thing Stacey had wanted to do was to storm down to the Queen Victoria right at that moment and give that Ronnie Mitchell a piece of her mind. Stacey shook her head. She couldn't believe her friend was even the daughter of someone as cold and heartless as Ronnie was. How could someone as gentle and kind as Danielle be born to a woman who gave her up for adoption and cruelly rebuffed her when she came to find her? Stacey's own mother might be erratic at times, but even with her Bipolar Disorder, she'd never be that spiteful. "Who'd want a daughter like you?" That had to be the nastiest thing you could ever say to your own child. Aside from all the other things she'd said like. "I didn't regret giving my daughter away."

_**Frozen inside without your touch, without your love,  
**__**Darling, only you are the life among the dead.  
**__**All this time I can't believe I couldn't see,  
**__**Kept in the dark but you were right there in front of me.  
**__**I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,  
**__**Got to open my eyes to everything  
**__**Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul,  
**__**Don't let me die here, there must be something more.  
**__**Bring me to life.**_

In desperate panic, Ronnie ran down the road as fast as her high heels would allow her, leaving Archie shouting vindictive words after her. She didn't care what he was saying; all that she cared about was the one person whose name kept going through her head. "Danielle, Danielle, Danielle." Her Amy. Ronnie stumbled through the Slaters' gate and pounded hard on the door.  
"Danielle! Danielle!" She hit the door hard with her fists and shouted; "DANIELLE!" so loudly, she though her throat would split.  
A light inside switched on and a figure, unmistakably that of Stacey, came hurrying down the stairs. She opened the door on the chain, her face set and angry. "What d'you want Ronnie?"  
"Where's Danielle?!"  
"She don't want to see you. You had your chance Ronnie and you blew it."  
"Let me see her!"  
"Didn't you hear me? She don't wanna see you. She cried herself to sleep cos of what you did; the Mitchell family have destroyed another life."  
"Stacey, please! She's my daughter!"  
Stacey looked coldly at the woman and said, "bye Ronnie," before shutting the door in her face.  
Shaking with anger, hurt and sobs, Ronnie turned from the door as Stacey's figure went upstairs and the light was tuned off. Wandering back onto the square, she looked behind her at the window that was Stacey and Danielle's bedroom. Drawing in her breath, she shouted; "DANIELLE!" before sinking onto the pavement, feeling more alone than ever.

_Is it a Yay or Nay to continue?  
__Review, pretty please????  
__:D_


	2. My Immortal

_Top o' the morning, Fanfiction Friends!  
__Thank you, thank you, thank you to the people who reviewed my first chapter, that's McIzzieFan, EllaKnight22, Kirky123, __Zky1__, razmataz13drums, smile-with-me, evanessascence, Pheobethe, thewattsrule, lightspirit and Icklepanth. Thanks for all your kind words; they made my day. Here's chapter two, and I'm afraid there will be more heartbreak before happiness for poor Ronnie!_

**My Immortal**

Stacey blinked and rolled over in bed, immediately noticing that Danielle's bed was empty. She sat up, rubbing her sore head. That was the last time she drank alot in one night. But then, she thought ruefully, getting up, that was what everyone said, but done it again anyway the next week. But not this time. Danielle needed her support right now. Stacey dragged her dressing gown around her body and headed to the bathroom to shower. Then she'd go and find her friend.

_**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**_

Ronnie woke up with a jolt on her living room sofa, still wearing her bridesmaids dress. She sat up and looked at the object wrapped in her fist. The locket. Her daughter's locket. Ronnie sighed and again berated herself for her harsh, cruel words the night before.  
"_Get away from me, you pathetic little freak! I never want to see your face again! Who'd want a daughter like you?!"  
_She mentally kicked herself. Why didn't she follow her gut instinct, the tiny little voice that tried to tell her that the innocent blonde girl was telling her the truth? Why didn't she at least give her a chance to find the locket herself? Why, why, why did she listen to her cruel, sadistic and controlling father, let him back into her life, and let him not only manipulate her again, but her precious daughter? So many regrets. But the biggest one was ever giving away her little baby angel in the first place. And now, Danielle, after months of trying to get close to her, didn't want anything to do with her. Well, Ronnie thought, getting up. This isn't over. Archie isn't going to win. Not this time. I'm going to get my daughter back, whatever it takes.

_**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me  
**_

Stacey trudged into the kitchen to find Charlie and Mo sitting in the kitchen, drinking tea and eating toast. "Alright Stace?" Mo said, barely looking up.  
"Hungover." She helped herself to tea from the teapot on the table and said; "where's Danielle?"  
"I haven't seen her," Charlie said, looking up from his paper. "I thought she'd still be in bed; the poor girl. Is she alright?"  
Stacey scowled. "What d'you think? Her Mum rejected her last night in the worst way she could. She ain't out on the stall, is she?"  
"What, on the chance she might run into one of them Mitchells?"  
"Ronnie was here, nearly breaking the door down last night," Stacey said, buttering some toast. "Dan don't wanna see her. Them Mitchells, so big on their precious 'family,' but look what they go and do to her. They've destroyed her."  
"Don't you think you'd better go and find her?"  
"Alright, I'm going!" Hurriedly drinking the last of her tea, Stacey cursed as some spilt down her t-shirt and left the kitchen.

_**You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me  
**_

"Morning Stacey," Libby said as the teenager entered the Minute Mart. "how's Danielle? I heard what happened yesterday–"  
"Everyone gossiping about it are they?"  
"No, I just–"  
"Forget it; you ain't seen her today have ya? She ain't out on the stall and she ain't at home either."  
"No I haven't. But if I do, I'll let ya know."  
"Thanks." Stacey walked from the shop, only to walk slap bang into Roxy Mitchell, who was carrying baby Amy. She immediately started talking  
"Where is she Stace? Where's Danielle?"  
"What's it to you?" she asked coldly, making to step past mother and baby.  
"She's my niece!" Roxy came hurrying after Stacey. "Ronnie wants to make things up to her, Stace, we all do!"  
"I don't know where she is!" Stacey gave Roxy a look of disgust and said; "she's probably run away to get away from your sister and the rest of your worthless family!"  
"Our Dad's gone, Stacey, he's not gonna hurt our Danielle anymore." Roxy shifted Amy in her arms and said; "just – if you find her – talk to her. We want to make this up to her. Please?"  
"I'm not promising she'll listen." With that, she turned and walked away, leaving Roxy standing statue still.  
"What did she say, Rox?" Ronnie asked, as she came rushing to her sister from the direction of the Slaters', Watching Stacey's retreating back.  
Roxy sighed sadly. "She doesn't know where Danielle is, Ron."  
"She must do! She's her best friend!" Ronnie looked frantically at her little sister. "Charlie said no-one's seen her since last night; she's gone and left everything; even all her clothes! I've lost my baby again!"

_**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**_

Clutching the photograph in her hand, Ronnie pushed her blonde hair behind her ear and stepped into the building. The police station. Nervously, she walked up to the desk, trying to resist the urge to run straight out again. But three days. Three days had Danielle been missing and no one, not even Stacey had heard anything from her. Her mobile went right to voicemail. She'd vanished from the face of the earth. The receptionist at the desk smiled at her.  
"Can I help you, Ms –?"  
"Mitchell. Veronica Mitchell."  
"What can I do for you, Ms Mitchell?"  
"I'd like to report a missing person please." Ronnie pushed the picture towards the receptionist and said; "my daughter. Danielle Jones."

_**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**_

_Reviews, pretty please, with a cherry and Danielle's "come back to EastEnders petetion" on top?????  
Lol  
Thanks for reading!  
xxxxxxx_


	3. Blame

_Hi again FanFiction dudes!  
__Sorry about the gap in the update, but thanks again to __McIzzieFan, EllaKnight22, Kirky123, Zky1, razmataz13drums, smile-with-me, evanessascence, Pheobethe, thewattsrule, lightspirit and Icklepanth. Love y'all for your lovely reviews! Here's chapter three, mainly centred on Ronnie._

**Blame**

_**Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face,  
you told me how proud you were, but I walked away.  
If only I knew what I know today.  
Ooh, ooh.**_

Blame. So many people the finger of blame could be pointed at. The monster of a father of hers, Archie could very well be fully to blame for the whole nineteen years of heartbreak. For making her give her baby angel away in the first place. Maybe even Auntie Peggy, for falling under his spell and letting him back into the family fold, when she knew deep down he was every bit as evil and bad as his late brother, Eric. Stacey – she'd known for months that Danielle was her daughter, but hadn't said anything. Maybe, being really shallow, the blame could be pointed at Danielle herself for not saying anything sooner. Much sooner. But really, Ronnie thought, she couldn't deny that she, herself, felt mostly to blame for the whole sorry mess she was in.

_**I would hold you in my arms;  
I would take the pain away,  
Thank you for all you've done,  
Forgive all your mistakes.  
There's nothing I wouldn't do,  
to hear your voice again.  
Sometimes I wanna call you,  
but I know you won't be there.**_

That girl. That sweet, innocent and well meaning girl had come to Albert Square in the search for her, for Ronnie, for her mother. But time and time again, she'd had her efforts to get to know her and friendliness thrown back in her face. She'd also, Ronnie remembered, with a stab of regret, used her, her own daughter to spy on her father. How much lower could you get than that? Ronnie rolled over in bed and draped an arm over her eyes. She'd do anything; give anything to have Danielle with her at that very moment, even if it was for just a second. So she could apologize. Apologize for being weak and letting her father take her away as a baby, apologize for her sneering at her attempts to be nice, just – apologize. For everything. A week, Danielle had now been missing and no one had seen or heard from her. Not Stacey, not Andy, not Gareth, nobody. No one had seen that precious little girl.

_**Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you.  
For everything I just couldn't do.  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you**_

The police weren't being much help and Ronnie was beginning to wonder if they were actually doing anything at all. She'd been so embarrassed when they'd asked her personal information about Danielle. And of course, she hadn't been able to tell them a thing. How bad must she have looked, Ronnie thought. She couldn't even tell them her date of birth. They must have thought she was the world's lowest mother, not even knowing the day her daughter was born. Of course, they'd found out all the information from Stacey and Andy, but it hurt Ronnie that she wasn't able to tell them anything about her own daughter expect for her name. And reasons why she might have gone missing? Ronnie closed her eyes as two hot tears eased their way out. How many reasons did they want? On that subject, the list was never ending.

_**Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit it.  
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss.  
And it's so hard to say goodbye  
when it comes to this, oooh**__._

_Danielle came out of Ronnie's bedroom as she walked towards it, carrying Amy. On seeing her mother, a look of fear crossed her face. She stops and the two look at each other.  
_"_What d'you think you're doing?"  
Danielle picked up a bad, and drapes in over her shoulder. "Get out of my way!"  
"What're you doing with Amy? Give her to me!"  
"No!" Danielle backed off, hugging her baby cousin protectively  
_"_Look," Ronnie said, gently, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, truly I am. But Amy should play no part in this." She took the baby from her daughter's arms.  
"Hurt my feelings?" Danielle said shrilly, following her into the room. "You have no idea! From the beginning, you've destroyed my life!"  
"Out," Ronnie said, her penitence fast reaching breaking point, taking her arm and dragging her from the room. "I think you should leave. You need help, Danielle."  
"You don't care!" she shouted, for a moment, looking out of control. "Granddad told you! But you act like I don't exist!"  
"What're you talking about?!"  
"HE TOLD YOU! YOUR DAD TOLD YOU!"  
"TOLD ME WHAT?!"  
"THAT YOU'RE MY MOTHER!"  
__Danielle's last utterance rang in Ronnie's ears. Part of her thought that all of her dreams had come true; but then, up came the hard, emotion barrier. Her voice is calm when she spoke. "You think I'm your Mother?"  
"You ARE my Mother!" she said, shaking her slim arm. "I'm your Amy! I'm your baby Amy! I told Granddad!"  
"I'm sorry V," Archie said, coming up to the pair. "She did tell me those things. She's delusional; I didn't tell you cos I knew it'd upset you."  
"What?" Danielle said, crushed as Ronnie nodded in acceptance.. "He's lying! I have a locket! I have a locket like yours! With your picture in it! It's downstairs!"  
"Alright, that's enough!" Archie said, grabbing Danielle and manhandling her down the stairs. Ronnie rushed down after them, Danielle's cries of; "let go of me!" chiming in her head among her thoughts. Danielle broke free of her grandfather at the bottom of the stairs and ran into the pub.  
"Where is it? Where is it?!" Danielle tipped glasses over, growing increasingly agitated as she can't find what she's looking for, the precious piece of jewellery. "Someone's taken it!" With everyone staring, she rushed back to Ronnie and shook her hard.. "I'm your Amy! Please, believe me! I'm your daughter!" She looked around in desperation, pleading with her eyes for someone in the pub to help her, back her up, and shouted; "SHE'S MY MOTHER!"  
Ronnie snapped at that point and grabbed her arm hard, roughly, forcibly throwing her out of the pub. She fell hard onto the floor as she glared down at her. Danielle looked back at her with her big eyes, pleading.  
_"_Please, believe me! Please –"  
_"_You stay away from me you sad pathetic little freak. I never want to see your face again. Who'd want a daughter like you?!"_

_**Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
Are you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?**_

_Danielle sniffed and looked up at Ronnie, hugging her stomach with her arms. "I just wanna know I'm making the right decision in getting rid of this baby."  
_"_Oh Danielle," Ronnie said soothingly, kneeling in front of her, at one of the few times she was ever nice to her. "You've got time, sweetie, lots of time to find a nice, decent man who'll treat you right and he's the one who will be the right person to have children with. You're so young; you've got your whole life ahead of you."  
_"_You think I am doing the right thing?"  
__Ronnie sighed. "I was in your situation once. These decisions are never easy."  
_"_What did you do?"  
_"_I was so young, younger than you are –"  
_"_What did you do, Ronnie?"  
_"_Having that baby, Danielle –" Ronnie paused, then said some of the few words she'd always regret – "was the biggest mistake of my life. I gave her away and I haven't looked back since."_

_**There's nothing I wouldn't do  
to have just one more chance.  
To look into your eyes  
and see you looking back.**_

_Ronnie came rushing back to the pub after her frantic search of Albert Square for Danielle and baby Amy. The girl was looking after the little baby for Roxy, who'd told her not to take Amy out, but Ronnie had gone to the Vic to check on them, finding the place empty. Ronnie ran back upstairs – and heard Danielle's voice coming from the living room. She was standing by the window, singing Hushabye Mountain. Ronnie stood for a moment, noting what a sweet voice Danielle had. Then she burst into the living room. Danielle turned around, startled.  
_"_Where the hell have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you!"  
_"_I just took her for a walk."  
_"_Roxy told you not to take her out!"  
_"_I didn't go far," Danielle said defensively. "We were just at the park."  
_"_Give Amy to me."  
_"_Roxy asked me to look after her!"  
_"_Well, I'm back now, I can look after her!" Ronnie said hotly, taking the sleeping baby from Danielle. "I don't want you around Amy anymore! You've just had an abortion and you can't cling to Amy to replace your baby!" Ronnie looked at Danielle as she stared at her, hurt. "GO!" she suddenly shouted. "I don't want you round Amy!"  
_"_You evil cow!" Danielle cried out, tears falling from her eyes as he ran off. "I hate you!"_

_**Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you,  
for everything I just couldn't do.  
And I've hurt myself, Ohh.**_

And no matter what, the reason always seemed to come back to her, to Ronnie. She'd hurt her even more than it was imaginably possible. She'd been unwilling to believe her claims that she was her daughter because of her father and because she was too afraid of getting hurt to listen to the part of her mind that told her Danielle was telling the truth. And as for that slime, Archie Mitchell, no one had seen him since the disaster of a wedding night. Not that Ronnie gave a damn about the man she'd disowned; he'd left with his tail between his legs and rightly so, too. But she knew it couldn't be long before he'd finished licking his wounds and come back with some scheme to manipulate everyone and get back into their good books.

_**If I had just one more day,  
I would tell you how much that I've missed you  
since you've been away.  
Ooh, it's dangerous,  
it's so out of line  
to try and turn back time**_

But not hers, Ronnie thought. Not, that man was well and truly out of her life for good now. And when – not if, because she would get her back, whatever it took – when she had her little girl back, she would shield her from him as well. They were never going to be apart anymore. Ronnie jumped to her feet as there were three knocks at the door. She ran to, it tripping over her own feet. Danielle?! Would it be her? Ronnie opened the door and her face fell. Of course it wasn't her, but it was much worse – the police.  
Weakly, she asked, "D – Danielle?"  
One, the investigating officer, DS Hunter, shook his head. "Ms Mitchell, we need you to come with us."  
"W – why? What've you found?"  
"A body has been discovered, down by the canal. We have reason to believe it is your daughter, but we need a positive identification..."

_**I'm sorry for blaming you,  
for everything I just couldn't do.  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you**_

_Drum roll please........  
__And reviews too?!?!  
__:D:D:D:D_


	4. Going Under

_Thanks to Juliette101, Kirky123, Doger5339, McIzzieFan, thewattsrule, 09claire09, Pheobethe and LightSpirit for your reviews!!!!!!_

**Going Under**

_**Now I will tell you what I've done for you -  
50 thousand tears I've cried.  
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -  
And you still won't hear me.  
Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.  
Maybe I'll wake up for once  
Not tormented daily defeated by you  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom**_

The whole way to the hospital, Ronnie had been holding her breath. Now, sitting outside the mortuary, all she wanted to do was run away. But she couldn't do that, no. If this body really was her, really was Danielle, she had to be here. Nineteen years of her life she'd missed, so the least she could do was to stay and see if her daughter was really dead. Stay and apologize. Roxy and Peggy had wanted to come with her, but Ronnie, ever the Ice Queen had said no; she needed to do this on her own. Now she wished more than anything they were by her side now, even if they did just stay silent.

_**I'm dying again  
I'm going under  
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
**__**I've got to break through  
I'm going under**_

"Mrs. Mitchell?" DS Hunter held open the door. "We're ready for you, now."  
Ronnie nodded and stood up, a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her daughter could be lying in that room; it made her want to die just thinking about it. Shakily, she followed the officer through the door. She was standing in a room, with a large window. A body was lying, covered, in the next room. Ronnie gripped onto the wall and nodded. The mortuary assistant pulled back the cloth covering the body. Ronnie's eyes widened and she slid to the floor...

_**Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.  
So I don't know what's real and what's not  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore  
**_

"I should've gone with her," Roxy said anxiously, rocking baby Amy and looking at the clock. "She shouldn't be there on her own!"  
"She wanted to go alone, Roxy," Peggy said lightly.  
"And I still should've gone with her! I should've insisted! What if it turns out to be Danielle, Auntie Peg? What then? Ronnie shouldn't be on her own! Not at a time like this!"  
"She can't keep cool like this for much longer. She'll come to us when she needs to, but until then, it's best we don't push her."  
"I can't believe he did this to her," Roxy said, putting Amy down in her carrier. "As if it wasn't bad enough that he took Danielle away when she was born, now he's tried to keep them apart again!"  
"Don't you worry about your father, darlin'. If he knows what's good for him, he'll never set foot in Albert Square again!"  
"You know what he's like Auntie Peg, he won't be able to resist coming back to stick the knife in, then try and get back in with us."  
"He won't, Roxy. No one's gonna listen to him again."_**  
**_

_**I'm dying again  
I'm going under  
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through**_

_Hiding back in the bushes, the figure looked up at Ronnie's house. All was still and dark, where was Ronnie? Was she in there? Or was she at R&R, getting on with business as usual? Some of the other Mitchells had been around and Stacey was working at her stall; Ronnie obviously wasn't with them. Jack was at home; the lights were on, and if Ronnie was sitting at R&R getting blind drunk, she was doing it in the dark. R&R looked completely dead. Like a ghost town. Swiftly, the figure moved out of the dark bushes and up to Ronnie's front door..._

_**I'm...  
So go on and scream  
Scream at me I'm so far away  
I won't be broken again  
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under**_

"RONNIE!" Roxy leapt up from her seat in the sitting room of the Queen Vic, as soon as she saw her elder sister crossing the square, towards the building and ran from the room, almost colliding with Peggy and Phil, who'd been alerted by her shout. She rushed down the stairs and ran out of the pub, just as Ronnie got to the door. "What happened, Ron, what happened?!"  
Ronnie stared at her sister and her eyes travelled to her cousin and aunt as they joined the sisters outside. She shook her head. "I – it wasn't her. It wasn't my Danielle!"  
"Oh, thank god for that!" Peggy hugged her niece as she broke down in tears. Roxy joined in the hug. "Who was it, Ron?"  
Ronnie shrugged. "I – I don't know. But it wasn't my daughter. N – not my little girl." She wiped her tears and said; "I don't suppose you've heard anything?"  
"No, Ron, sorry," Phil said, folding his arms. "No news."  
"And Ron, no arguments, you're coming to stay at the Vic!" Roxy said  
"No, I –"  
"Don't you argue, young lady!" Peggy said, sharply. "You're not staying in that house on your own, you need your family around you!"  
"Fine," Ronnie said flatly. "I'll just go and grab some of my things."  
As she turned away, Roxy called after her; "if you're not back in half an hour, I'm coming over there!"  
Ronnie shook her head as she walked away. She was the elder sibling, shouldn't she be the one looking after Roxy? As she passed Stacey's stall, the teenager called after her.  
"Ronnie! What happened?"  
"It wasn't her," she told the girl.  
Stacey sighed with relief, and looked at Ronnie. All that she'd done to Danielle, it was clear she regretted. She bit her lip then said quietly; "she loved you, you know." She picked up something in a gift bag on her delivery boxes. "I – found this in her room, I thought you might like it."  
Ronnie took the bag and brang out the item inside it. A photo frame, with a picture of Danielle and Amy. She smiled shakily at Stacey in thanks before walking away, holding the picture to her heart.

_**I'm dying again  
I'm going under  
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through  
**_

All the way to her house, Ronnie held that precious picture to her body. It was one of the few things she had of her daughter. What if one day, a body actually turned out to be her? How would she cope, then? Ronnie opened her front door and looked around, bewildered. Why was the house so tidy; it had been a complete tip when she'd left hours earlier. But rubbish was thrown away, washing up was done and the air smelt of pine. Who did all this? That question was answered as soon as she walked into her bedroom. Ronnie stopped and stared.

"Hello Ronnie."

__

**I'm going under  
I'm going under  
I'm going under**

...................................................................


	5. Mama, I Love You

**Mama, I Love You**

_**She used to be my enemy and never letting me be free,  
catching me in places that I know I shouldn't be,  
Every other day I crossed the line  
I didn't mean to be so bad,  
I never thought you would become a friend I never had**_

Ronnie gaped at the figure and groaned, holding onto the doorframe, the photograph of Amy and Danielle falling from her hand. As a cold tear fell down her face for around the millionth time that week, the figure took a step forwards.  
"Don't I get a hug, Veronica?" Glenda Mitchell asked.  
"Mum!" Ronnie made to step towards her estranged Mother, but doubt settled in and she drew backwards. "How did you get in?"  
"Your spare key," Glenda said, holding up a silver set of keys. "You've inherited leaving them under a plant pot from your father."  
"Don't ever mention him again," Ronnie said angrily. "D'you have any idea what he's done? No, why would you, you've been living it up in Oz ever since you abandoned me and Roxy!"

_**  
Back then I didn't know why,  
Why you were misunderstood,  
So now I see through your eyes,  
all that you did was love  
Mama I love you, Mama I care,  
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,  
You're my friend **_

"Veronica –"  
"Don't," she snarled, "call me Veronica! I don't want any reminder of him!"  
"Darling, I know what he's done to you. Why d'you think I'm back? So I can support you like I should have."  
Ronnie stared suspiciously at Glenda. "How did you find out? Who told you?"  
"Your Aunt Peggy. She called me and I got the first flight over here."  
"What d'you want, a medal?" Ronnie asked coldly, tuning her back on her mother and walking to the sitting room. She heard the older woman sigh and follow her.  
"I'm sorry, Ron."  
"Oh, for what, Mum?" she said savagely. "Letting him take my baby away from me? Abandoning us? Moving to the other side of the world? Hardly ever getting in touch?  
"Everything." Glenda looked down at the photograph she was holding; the one Ronnie had dropped. "Is this her?"  
"Yes." Ronnie leaned forwards and snatched the photograph away. "That's my Danielle," she said quietly, looking down at it.

_**  
I didn't want to hear it then but  
I'm not ashamed to say it now,  
Every little thing you said and did was right for me,  
I had a lot of time to think about,  
about the way I used to be,  
Never had a sense of my responsibility.  
**_

"She's very beautiful."  
"Yeah." Ronnie's expression softened. "She is."  
"Just like you."  
The expression hardened again. "Don't try to butter me up, Mum; a couple of compliments about my daughter don't make up for abandonment!"  
"I know Ronnie. But I want to make things up to you and your sister. And Danielle."  
"And what gives you the right to even go anywhere near my daughter?"  
"I'll stick around as long as it takes but I'm not losing my girls a second time." Glenda sighed. "I was weak, Ronnie. I let Archie push us all around. I let him drive me away. But not now. If he decides to show his face around here again, I'll be ready for him!"  
Ronnie's tip trembled as she looked at her Mother. "H – He told me she was dead!"  
"I know, I know darling," she said soothingly, making to come towards her daughter. Ronnie backed away, the tears now falling steadily down her face.  
"And – I – was horrible to her. I – I took her to abort my own grandchild! And I – I told her she was a mistake. I didn't mean it!"

_**Back then I didn't know why,  
why you were misunderstood,  
So now I see through your eyes,  
all that you did was love,  
Mama I love you, Mama I care,  
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,  
You're my friend, you're my friend  
**_

"Sweetheart, I know you didn't."  
"He's taken her away from me twice! N – Now she could be dead and she won't know how much I really love her!"  
"Ronnie, she will know," Glenda said firmly. "You know why, cos we're going to find her! Even if we have to spend nights searching all over London, we will find your Danielle." The woman looked into her eldest daughter's face and said; "I'm not leaving you again, Ronnie. Not this time." Raising her arms, she pulled Ronnie into a cuddle.

_**  
But now I'm sure I know why,  
why you were misunderstood,  
So now I see through your eyes,  
all I can give you is love,  
Mama I love you, Mama I care,  
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,  
Mama I love you, Mama I care,  
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,  
You're my friend, you're my friend  
**_

That time, Ronnie surprised herself as well as Glenda by not pulling away. Instead, she let her head drop on Glenda's shoulder and she cried harder than ever. Was this Ronnie Mitchell, the damaged Ice Queen, crying her heart out on someone's shoulder? Yes it was. And Ronnie admitted to herself that it felt good to let the emotion out for once instead of bottling it all up. She felt braver, too. For now, the Mitchell women had another ally.

_**  
Ohh, my mama my love  
Ohh, my mama my love  
In lobe in you, in love in me  
And love is true and guaranteed  
I'm loving you, you loving me  
our love that's true so true**_

_OK, dudes, thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed the last chapter and I'll just apologize in advance: I'm sorry  
__Because, originally, it WAS going to be Danielle in Ronnie's house and not Glenda but I just thought I'd be really mean and let you all sweat a bit more. For when I'm mean, I'm very, very mean. Just ask LightSpirit!  
__Right Amy?  
__Hahaha!!_

_OK, I'm off now but feel free to click that button below!  
__Rant!  
__Rave!  
__REVIEW!_

_Byeeee!!!!!!!  
__H. xx _


	6. What Hurts The Most

_Sorry, sorry, sorry for the delay but here's the next chapter and thanks again to everyone who reviewed!_

**What Hurts The Most**

_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then  
And just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again  
I pretend I'm OK, but that's not what gets me**_

The atmosphere in The Queen Victoria pub was unusually upbeat that night. The return of Glenda seemed to have given Ronnie hope in finding her daughter and everyone saw it. Glenda, true to her word, was making a special effort with Ronnie and Roxy and enjoying cradling her baby granddaughter, Amy. Ronnie sat back and watched her Mum and Auntie coo over baby Amy and she couldn't help but still feel jealous as well as a bit resentful. Her mum should have been cradling Danielle like that when she had been a baby, but she didn't because she'd let her Archie make her give her away. Then she shook the thoughts away. If she didn't forgive, she'd never move on. Her Mother, she could forgive, but the lying, selfish piece of scum who was supposed to be her father? Never. He didn't deserve anything from the Mitchells, least of all from her or Glenda and especially not Danielle. Ronnie smiled as Glenda looked over at her and sipped at her wine. Now she knew how Danielle must have felt when she came all the way from Telford to find her. It was so nerve wreaking, seeing the Mother you hadn't seen in thirteen years. She knew how nervous she must have felt. And imagined how devastated she would have been to have her efforts thrown back in her face time and time again

_**What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could've been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do**_

Ronnie blinked and rubbed a hand across her eyes. Glenda was sitting on the floor beside her, stroking her hair back. She smiled. "Go to bed, darling. You look exhausted."  
"No, I've got to stay up! I've got to stay up for her, for Danielle! What if she comes and I can't hear her, what if she wants me?!"  
"Ronnie –"  
"What if she wants me? what if she's sitting outside right now, waiting for me? waiting for me to come to her?"  
"Ronnie darling –"  
"I have to stay awake! I have to! She could have been there while I've been asleep and I wouldn't have known!"  
"Ronnie!" Glenda said, rubbing her slim shoulder. "Calm down. If Danielle was here and looking for you, she'd try every place connected to you, wouldn't she?"  
"I guess."  
"And that includes this place."  
"Yeah. B – But what if she's hurt and is outside my door, waiting?"  
"Darling, if your baby was here, we'd know about it. Jack lives right near you, he'd have been sure to see her. Everyone around here is keeping an eye out for her."  
"I want her back, Mum." Ronnie's head dropped and she whispered; "even if it was just for a second. Just to tell her I love her more than anything."  
"I know you do. She must still be angry, Ronnie, but she came all the way down here to find you, her mother. She's your daughter, your own flesh and blood. There can't be a stronger bond than that one. And there's the other bond, too."  
Ronnie blinked and Glenda. "What other bond?"  
Glenda smiled and said; "the Mitchell bond!" Then she stood up. "Come on," she said in the commanding, bossy voice, typical of a mother. "You're going to bed, my girl. If I have to camp outside your room all night, you will have your rest young lady!"

_**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you  
**__**everywhere I go, but I'm doing' it  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still harder, Getting' up, getting' dressed, living' with this regret,  
**__**but I know If I could do it over  
I would trade, give away, show the words that I  
**__**saved in my heart that I left unspoken**_

"_Mum!"  
__Gasping, Ronnie looked around, seeing nothing, but the dark, shadowy and strangely eerie surroundings of Albert Square. Where had that voice come from?  
_"_Mum!"  
_"_Danielle?" It was her, Ronnie would bet her own life on it. Her daughter was calling for her, pleading with her. She wanted her mother.  
_"_MUM!"  
_"_Danielle!" Ronnie began to run through the streets, frantically looking, searching for any sign of her precious daughter. The two lockets were swinging around her neck.  
_"_Mum, find me! find me, please! I need you!"  
_"_I'll find you, I promise! Tell me where you are Dani, please!" There was sobbing, crying. Her girl, her little baby girl was distressed, crying and needing her. She had to find her, she had to. "DANIELLE!"  
_"_Mummy!"  
__Now the voice sounded childlike. That alone reduced Ronnie to tears. She was hurting, but where was she? Where was Danielle? Why wouldn't she tell her? Then, in front of her, she saw something. Lying in the gardens of Albert Square. A baby's crib.  
_"_Dani!"  
_"_Mummy!"  
__Gasping, Ronnie ran towards it. There, she was there! That's where the voice was coming from! "Hang on baby, I'm coming!"  
_"_Hurry Mummy, please!"  
__As soon as Ronnie stepped foot through the gates, the crib drifted away. "NO!" She ran further towards it and it drifted away further. "NO! DANIELLE! NO!"  
_"_Mummy! Please, I don't wanna be alone!" The voice carried back to Ronnie through tears, echoing in her head.  
_"_Danielle!"Ronnie ran faster; the crib drifted through the gate and she let out a scream of anguish as she ran into the steel gates, the bars preventing her from going any further. "DANIELLE!"  
_"_Mummy!"  
__The baby's cries broke Ronnie's heart as she thought tooth and nail to get through the gates, which refused to budge. She watched, heartbroken as the crib drifted away into the darkness of under the bridge as her baby was taken from her yet again.  
_"_Danielle! DANIELLE!"_

_**What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having' so much to say  
And watching' you walk away  
And never knowing'  
What could've been  
And not seeing' that loving' you  
Is what I was trying' to do**_

"Danielle! Baby, please! Don't leave me!" Ronnie's eyes sprang open as soon as the last word left her lips and she sat up, sweating and shaking. Wiping cold sweat from her face, she found it mixed with her tears and picked up a pillow, burying her face in it. Was the whole world conspiring to take her baby girl away from her, even in her dreams? The torture of not knowing was bad enough when she was awake, why do it to her in her dreams, too? It was unfair. Swinging her shaking legs out of bed, Ronnie pulled on Roxy's hooded cardigan and quietly opened her bedroom door. All was still and dark. Silently, she tip-toed down the stairs, opened the back door and slipped out quietly into the night. It was all dark and silent in the square, just as it had been in her dream. Quietly, she called, knowing she would get no answer; "Danielle?"  
She was right. No answer. Just quiet. Sadly, Ronnie began to walk back home, her head drooped to the floor. Passing the gardens, she stopped and looked at the place. The empty place. Where she dreamed the crib had been. Ronnie turned away, unable to look at the place any longer. Trying to hold her head up high, she began to walk briskly towards Bridge Street, where she lived. As she approached the bridge where the baby crib had disappeared, she stared at the darkness – and a figure walked slowly, robotically out of it.  
Ronnie gasped and snaked her arm down to her thigh and gave it a hard pinch, the resulting pain ruling out the possibility that this was a dream – but a dream come true. For she recognized that figure. The white dress, the blue jeans and the yellow cardigan. Her short blonde hair was matted and her clothes filthy. There was a vacant expression on her face, which was covered in cuts, but none of this mattered to Ronnie, for to her, that figure looked more beautiful than ever.  
Drawing in her breath, she let out a shout which must've woken the whole of Albert Square. "DANIELLE!"

_**What hurts the most**__**  
Was being so close  
And having' so much to say  
And watching' you walk away  
And never knowing'  
What could've been  
And not seeing' that loving' you  
Is what I was trying' to do  
Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do**_

_Go on, review! Yano you want to!_


	7. Back For Good

_Yep, here it is, the last chapter! Hope you've all enjoyed the story and I hope you won't be disappointed with the ending! Thanks so much to everyone who's read and special thanks to all who reviewed!_

**Back For Good**

_**I guess now it's time for me to give up  
I feel it's time  
Got a picture of you beside me  
Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup  
Got a fist of pure emotion  
Got a head of shattered dreams  
Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now**_

"Danielle!" Frantic, Ronnie ran down the few stone stairs, tripping over her own feet in her rush to get to her daughter. "Dani! Dani, baby!" She ran to Danielle and grabbed her shoulders. "Sweetie? Talk to me!"  
Danielle simply blinked, the vacant expression still on her face and stared at her mother as if she'd just fallen from outer space.  
"Dani?" Ronnie shook her. "Say something! Anything! Baby, please!"  
She blinked again and said; "Mum?"  
Ronnie choked out a laugh from behind her tears. "Yeah baby, it's me, its Mummy!" _**  
**_

_**Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it  
I just want you back for good  
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it  
You'll be right and understood  
**_

"Ronnie, what the hell's going on?" Jack asked, as he came rushing out of his house wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. He stopped and stared. "Danielle?"}  
"Don't just stand there Jack, help me get her to the Vic!" Ronnie said, beginning to escort her daughter towards the pub, holding her tightly. Jack came to Danielle's other side and supported her in the direction of the pub. Ronnie got to the doors and began to thump frantically on the doors.  
"Mum! Roxy! Auntie Peg! Open up!" she thumped louder and said; "she's back! My Dani's back!"  
Lights were snapped on and footsteps, more than one pair came thundering down the stairs and there was scrabbling as a figure tried frantically to unlock the door. It opened to reveal the flushed face of Glenda. She gasped and ushered the three inside the warmth of the pub, where Peggy, Roxy and Phil were standing behind the bar.  
"Danielle!" Roxy vaulted over the bar and stared her young niece in the face. "Are you OK? Where've you been?"  
"Take her upstairs," Glenda said commandingly, taking control of the situation and escorting her granddaughter to the back of the pub. "She needs a bath and some rest."

_**  
Unaware but underlined I figured out this story  
It wasn't good  
But in the corner of my mind I celebrated glory  
But that was not to be  
In the twist of separation you excelled at being free  
Can't you find a little room inside for me  
**_

"She's back. I can't believe she's finally back." Ronnie paced the sitting room and started for the door. "I wanna see if she's alright."  
"Ronnie!" Glenda said, holding her back. "She needs some time."  
"And I need some answers! Why did she wait seven months before telling me but tell that scumbag of a father of ours first?"  
"I didn't."  
Ronnie, Glenda, Peggy and Roxy all jumped as the vacant voice issued from the doorway. Danielle was standing by the door, wrapped in a dressing gown. Her blonde hair was clean and pushed back from her face, which was still covered in cuts.  
"I didn't," she repeated. "He found out when he saw my locket."  
"Why didn't you tell me before, Dani? Why didn't you say when you came to Albert Square?"  
"Come and sit down, Danielle," Glenda said firmly, gesturing her over to an armchair. Danielle looked at her uncertainly then back at Ronnie, who smiled.  
"It's alright, darling. This is your grandmother, my Mum."  
Glenda smiled at her, who smiled shakily back before slowly going to sit in the armchair, tucking her legs underneath her. She looked right at her Mother. "I wanted to know what you were like before I told you."  
"I bet you loved what you found," Ronnie said quietly. "I'm so sorry."  
"I wanted to know that I wasn't wasting my time." She looked down and said; "but when Granddad found out, he told me that you didn't want me. And he was right, wasn't he?"  
"What?" Ronnie said startled. "No, I –"  
"You never did want me. That's why you gave me away like I was just some doll you can throw away."  
"No!"  
"I tried," she said, her eyes swimming with tears. "I tried to be nice, I tried to get close to you, but you didn't want to know!"  
"Danielle –"  
"Y – You always pushed me away no matter how hard I tried!"  
"Danielle, listen to me, please!"  
"I just wanted you to like me!"  
"I do!"  
"Yeah, you're only saying that now you know who I am. For these past two weeks, I've been hiding out at a grubby B&B in the middle of nowhere wondering why nobody wants me!" Danielle's face contorted; she stared bitterly at her mother and stood up. "But as you said, _Mum,_ who'd want a daughter like me?" With everyone watching tearfully, she stormed from the room in tears.

_**Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it  
I just want you back for good  
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it  
You'll be right and understood  
**_

"Dani!" Getting up, Ronnie shook off Roxy's hold and rushing after her daughter, getting into the corridor in time to see her bedroom door slam shut. "Danielle!"  
"Leave me alone!"  
"Danielle!" She knocked lightly on the door. "Sweetie, please let me in." There was no answer and Ronnie slid to the floor, next to Danielle's bag and a pile of her clothes, wiping tears from her eyes. "Please!" She picked up the bag and emptied it, wondering what few items her daughter would have had in the world the past few weeks. The contents consisted of her mobile phone, chewing gum, an Ipod, hairbrush, some makeup and a diary with a pen. Ronnie picked up the diary and stared at the leather bound front. Here, in her hands held the key to her daughter's most intimate thoughts and feelings. Surely if she was going to get anywhere with her baby, it was just what she needed. Ronnie opened the diary and smiled at the graffiti covering the first few pages; typical of a teenage girl, all about boys. She flicked through until she found the first entry about her, posted on October the seventh

_Not sure I can look Mrs Mitchell in the eye today. Could pull a sicky? Don't know if I can face it. Got to do something. I'm gonna tell Ronnie - Mrs Mitchell should know the truth. Just don't want anybody to get hurt. Better go, get it over with.  
__Why can't things just work out for once? Told Ronnie, but something went wrong. She came back from the Vic in a right state. Took it out on me. Shouted at me - said that I was just the cleaner and to back off. Then Mr Mitchell caught me and threatened me. Crying now. JUST THE CLEANER??? If you only knew_

Biting her lip, Ronnie shook her head, trying not to cry again. Danielle had barely stepped foot into Albert Square and she was already being so horrible to her because she was apparently 'just the cleaner.' Danielle was right. If only she had known. The next entry was written on October the fourteenth.

_Couldn't sleep last night. Like R's letter by my bed was haunting me. Maybe I should just put it back where I found it. Forget that all of this happened  
__Gave the letter to Mr Mitchell. Ronnie knew it was me that took it!! How could I have been so stupid?? Please, please don't hate me  
__I've ruined EVERYTHING. All those things that were said. The look in your eyes. How can your beautiful eyes look so cold? How can you look at me like that? So much contempt. Like you hate me. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. How stupid was I to think it'd be any different?_

Her big mouth had pushed her beloved but unknown daughter away time and time again. By being so cold, so closed, so cruel, she'd managed to hurt Danielle more than was humanly possible. Ronnie let the tears flow this time, they fell onto the page, smudging her daughter's lovely handwriting. She flipped forwards, knowing she wouldn't like what was to come. And of course, she was right. The further forward she read, the more desperate and upsetting the entries became. Like the one written on the sixth of February. When she had the abortion.

_Going to tell R today. Can't wait! Perhaps she'll even talk me out of taking the second pill  
__Got a call from Ronnie. She pulled out of the appointment AND also said that her life would have been BETTER off without me. Tried to hold back the tears, as Stacey was there.  
__IT'S ALL OVER. It wasn't the same being at Whiteland's with Stace. I just wanted Mum. But she's dead. They're both dead. Ronnie is dead to me now too. Can't stop crying.  
__Feel so sick. My tummy's in pieces and I'm all alone. It's like a wooden spoon is stirring my insides. Have I done the right thing? Head hurts. Not sure where to go. Wish I had my Mum. I just wish she cared. Need to be sick again._

She'd told Dot about her baby, Ronnie remembered. Why couldn't she have just said what she said to Dot to Danielle as well instead of calling her 'a mistake' and save her a whole load of heartache? The conversation stuck so well in her mind, Ronnie remembered. She'd been crying and Dot had been so nice.  
"_I had a baby when I was fourteen,"_ she heard herself saying. _"She was beautiful. Perfect. I remember her little hands, clutching onto my finger. She had tiny, little fingernails. I gave her away. See, I thought I'd be alright going to the abortion clinic yesterday with this girl. Actually I was fine. No I wasn't fine, but I managed. It's what she wanted to do. She's only a kid; she's got no money, no boyfriend. She's too young to be a Mum. But last night, I just couldn't get my baby out of my head. She'd be nearly twenty by now."  
_"_I lost a baby once," Dot had confided.  
_"_A miscarriage?"  
_"_She'd be nearly fifty now. If she'd – been allowed to live. I think, sometimes, if you get under the skin of any woman, you'll find a baby story. Is she important to you, this girl?"  
_Ronnie remembered what her answer to that had been and forced the words across her mind _"No. She's just someone who works for me."  
_"_Yet you gave up all that time yesterday to be with her?"  
_"_She seemed so alone_."  
Maybe it was because Danielle had reminded her so much of herself at that point in time that she'd felt compelled to go with her. But when it got too tough, she backed out, hurting her yet again. And just as she was going to tell her the truth, too. Then came the entry on March the twentieth which made her blood boil

_Now Archie KNOWS! My Granddad! He held my arm so tight, as he tried to throw me out. It felt like a blood pressure gauge was tightening harder and harder. Pins and needles. Then he saw my locket. Finally, I could erupt all my anger at him after he saw MY Mum in the locket. The shock on his face was a picture I'll never forget. His mouth dropped. I don't remember much afterwards, but I shouted. Then he told me that R thought I was dead. No wonder she's so cold. He told me he was my Granddad though. I felt a glimmer of happiness. Then, MY Granddad told me not to tell R. He opened up and told me that she was on anti-depressants. He said she tried to commit suicide too! My Mum. ill. It could be genetic. Perhaps I'm depressed?! He said that I would push her over the edge if I told her I'm her daughter. Now what do I do? I love her.  
__He showed me to the door and there she was. R stood in front of me at the top of the stairs. Her cheeks held tears. My Mum is depressed. Perhaps I've made her even more ill. My Granddad said he'd ring me as I left. I headed back to the Slaters'. Stacey was cold to me. She just looked at me and then went upstairs. I can only wonder what tomorrow will bring. It's gone 11pm and I'm not tired. My mind is like a merry-go-round in a blurred horror movie scene_

How dare he, she thought furiously. How dare he be such a cruel and heartless coward? First he told her Danielle was dead, then he spends months treating her like dirt and when he finally realizes the truth, instead of doing the decent thing, and tell her, Ronnie, that Danielle was her daughter, which he knows will make her happy, he makes out she has a mental problem and has tried to kill herself? The only person she wanted to kill was HIM! Through the next few entries, lines leapt out at Ronnie, which made her want to track down that bastard of a father and slit his throat, laughing as she did it.

Twenty-third of March  
_Felt down earlier after talking to Granddad. He said that he spoke to Mum about me. She said that she was relieved when she knew I was dead!_

Twenty-seventh of March  
_Granddad was mean to me though when he walked in! He held my arm tight when he saw me and told me he still hadn't told Mum. Later, he told me to stay away again, but I'M NOT_

Thirty-first of March  
_Granddad sat me down and told me how Mum doesn't want me. She gave him money to give to me too. must have been at least £200 to get rid of me. Is that all I'm worth? A few dirty notes? I just want my Mum. I want her love, not her hatred._

HOW DARE HE?! This time, Ronnie wanted to scream the words from the rooftops. She wanted to mutilate her father's body right in the view of everyone in Albert Square! She wanted him dead, she wanted to kill him with her bare hands! She never wanted to see him again! How could he do it? How could he make his own granddaughter feel like she could have a chance of being with her, with Ronnie, than make her feel as if she was worth absolutely nothing to her, bring her so low, then let her down when she finally decided to tell the truth. The last entry was the most heartbreaking. April the second.

_Peggy and Granddad's wedding day! Today's the day Peggy becomes my Nan. If only I could be at the wedding too. If only Mum cared. I'm going to the Vic when they're all at the wedding. I'll sneak in and wait until they come back with Amy to put her to bed. I have to be with my cousin. she's all I have. Granddad tried to get rid of me, and Mum doesn't want me. she'd rather I was dead. I can't believe just how much I've cried since I've been in Walford. I'm surprised I have any tears left. I'm a Mitchell though, so I won't give up I'm going to wear my fave outfit. My white dress and yellow cardie, from the James Bond night. Spring is here and I was wearing it in my dream the other night, so it could be a sign can hear cars and cheers outside the Vic. Sounds like Peggy's off to the church. Soon they'll be married and Mum will know I'm her Amy. Cheers Mum!  
__I don't believe it. It went so wrong. Mum told me that Granddad didn't tell her anything. Not anything at all! He's such a liar - he tricked me to try and keep me away from her. She still didn't know I was hers. So I told her. I told her. I told her everything. It felt so good to say it, but it was awful too. She didn't believe me. No one believed me! I shouted. I screamed. I sobbed. Granddad practically threw me down the stairs. He's a liar, he's an evil liar! He's lied to Peggy, to Mum, to everyone. No one believed me. and the locket left in Mum's glass disappeared. Mum threw me out of the Vic. She said "Who'd want a daughter like you?" The words cut through me I'm devastated. My body aches, my face is blotchy and my throat's a lump. Mum's anger burned through me, as I lay on the cold concrete. I thought I found a friend in Stacey, as her blurred figure stood in the Square, but she was drunk. She didn't understand. She wasn't even listening. All I ever wanted was for Mum to look at me with love in her eyes. To call me her baby. To tell me she loved me. I have to leave now. I have to go back to Telford. Goodbye Walford_

_**  
And we'll be together, this time is forever  
We'll be fighting and forever we will be  
So complete in our love  
We will never be uncovered again  
**_

Determined, Ronnie stood up, clutching the diary. He'd ruined her whole life, but she wasn't going to let him ruin her relationship with Danielle. She knocked on the bedroom door again. "Danielle, please let me in."  
"Go away!"  
"Baby, please! I love you!"  
"No you don't!" Danielle said shrilly. There was a sliding sound. She was leaning against the other side of the locked door. "You never wanted me! You wished you'd got rid of me!"  
"Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me, Danielle! It cursed my whole life! I'm nothing without you!"  
"You're just saying that! Who would want me?"  
"I do! And so does Roxy and Peggy and your Gran. And Amy. She loves you, too." Ronnie pushed the door handle down. "Come on, open the door." She waited for a moment, listening carefully in the heavy silence – then there was the sound of a bolt being pulled across. Ronnie pushed at the door; it swung open to reveal Danielle sitting on the bed. Kneeling down in front of her, Ronnie pushed the hair tenderly back from her face.  
"I'm so sorry I've hurt you so much baby," she said, placing the diary on the bed next to Danielle. The girl stared from the diary to Ronnie.  
"You read it?"  
"I needed to know what you were thinking, Dani. I'm your Mum, I really do love you!"  
"All I wanted was to hear you say that."  
"And I'll always mean it, too. You don't have to be alone anymore, sweetie. I'm here for you now." Ronnie held out her hand hopefully. "What d'ya say? Give me another chance? I'll never let you down again!"  
"D'you promise?"  
"Yeah," Ronnie said, holding out her other hand. "I'll do whatever it takes to have you with me!"  
"I've been waiting for this moment! Waiting for it from the moment I saw you!"  
"And now it's here." Ronnie smiled in relief as Danielle's hands, grasped her own. "Is that a yes, baby?"  
In answer, Danielle threw her slim arms around her Mother's slender neck. Somehow, she couldn't stay angry, no matter how hurt she'd been by all the upset caused in the last seven months. The tears, tears of happiness came fast as they clung to each other, Roxy, Peggy and Glenda stood on the landing, smiling as they watched until Glenda came forwards and shut the door quietly. Mother and daughter were finally reunited. And they had nineteen years' worth of catching up to do. They were together as one.

_**  
Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it  
I just want you back for good  
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it  
You'll be right and understood  
I guess now it's time, that you came back for good**_

**THE END**


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